However, thanks to the current phenomenon of the 'hookup culture,' the traditional American family is rearranging to conform to the structure of modern, noncommittal relationships: first comes sex, then comes cohabitation, then maybe a baby, and possibly marriage.
In fact, the sequence of hooking up, sex, and premarital cohabitation seems to represent a growing norm in society, pointing to the fact that the traditional major milestones of a relationship are happening prior to marriage rather than after tying the knot.
Although the phenomenon of the hookup culture is often attributed to millennials, studies from the Journal of Sex Research have shown that millennials (2004-2012) do not actually have more casual sex than the generation before them (1988-1996).
With this in mind, it should be equally as enlightening to both millennials and non-millennials to hear that this culture of casual sex, the haze of hooking up, and the slide of sexual intimacy is also affecting the chances of a happy marriage.
The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia published a study called "Before 'I Do'" and found that what couples do before they say 'I do' actually matters -- and that premarital experiences from the past could end up haunting them long into marital bliss.
"What people do before marriage appears to matter," stated Dr. Galena K. Rhoades and Dr. Scott M. Stanley in the 2014 study, saying that "how they conduct their romantic lives before they tie the knot is linked to their odds of having happy marriages."
They found that those couples who partook in hooking up, premarital cohabitation, or even engaging in multiple sexual encounters with different people over the course of their lives would have a less likely chance of remaining in a happy marriage - if they even got married at all.
"What happens in Vegas - everything you do before settling down in marriage - may not stay there," Rhoades and Stanley continued, saying that "those who have had more romantic experiences are more likely to have lower-quality marriages than those with a less complicated romantic history."
About 90 percent of Americans have sex before marriage and on average, these Americans will have five sexual partners before settling down with "the one."
Stanley and Rhoades pointed out that cohabitation, which includes creating a life together - buying furniture, investing in a pet, paying monthly rent together - can create a kind of inertia that makes it harder for the couple to breakup, if the time came.
So instead of breaking up if the match proved to be unsuitable, the couple would likely stay together in a kind of unhealthy paralysis. The cohabitating couple would more likely enter into an unhappy marriage rather than delve into the inconvenience of breaking apart the life they so carefully created when living together.
"In general, couples who wait to have sex later in their relationship report higher levels of marital quality," Rhoades and Stanley continued, pointing to the fact that sex in a relationship - especially hooking up early on - will have repercussions on marriage.
This could have to do with the fact that typically, both parties are be blinded by attraction. The couple who has sex early on in the relationship still has no idea if they are well-matched because they are captivated by sexual enthrallment. If the relationship starts off with sex, then the more detailed and subtle aspects of their partner could be glossed over by the hazy lenses of sexual attraction.
The research also suggests that if an individual only has sex with their eventual spouse and no others, the odds of marital happiness are substantially better than if the individual had sex with multiple partners." CNA
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Genesis 2:24/Matthew 19:6
