Wanting to Die
I admit it — I’ve spent so much of my life wanting to die. I know people hate to hear this, but even today, I experience the desire to die at times. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with my life or my experiences, it’s just that there’s something wrong with my brain. And in my brain, the thought that repeats is, “I want to die.” It’s on an endless loop sometimes. It’s torturous. I can’t stand it. There seems to be nothing that will adequately quiet the thought.Being Suicidal
In saying that, I haven’t been suicidal that entire time. In my opinion, being suicidal moves you from the realm of wanting to die to the place where you are actively start taking steps to die by suicide. This might be picturing your death, writing a suicide note or making a plan. I tend to picture my death over and over and over. Again, my brain seems to produce this thought endlessly..... wanting to die is passive and being suicidal is active. Thus, being suicidal is considerably more dangerous.
Why does the difference between suicidality and wanting to die matter?
Well, I think it impacts how you communicate your feelings. For example, when I simply want to die, I don’t feel that I’m in imminent danger but I know that feeling and thought pattern could be a stepping stone to full-blown suicidality so I need to deal with it and absolutely not ignore it.
If, on the other hand, I’m actively suicidal, that’s the time when a suicide safety plans needs to be put into place and even a trip to the hospital may need to be arranged.
While I absolutely think that both states need to be recognized and dealt with, I still think it’s important to recognize the difference between a serious problem and an emergency situation."
NatashaTracy'sHomeOnline
Then they went out to see what was done;
and came to Jesus, and found the man,
out of whom the devils were departed,
sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed,
and in his right mind:
Luke 8:35